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About Deviant Artist trevor405622/Female/United States Group :iconpoetry-sanctuary: Poetry-Sanctuary
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Deviant for 9 Years
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Now That You're Not Near
I've never felt the cold
More than I do now
Cold was my friend
It comforted me
Or maybe that was just you
Shielding me from its bitter bite
I've never feared the dark
More than I do now
Darkness was chaos
But I reveled in its mystery
Or maybe that was you
Leading the way to the light
I've never hated the sun
As much as I do now
The sun is warmth
Something I have no need for
Now that you're gone
I no longer wish to see the light of day
I never cared for the future
As much as I should have
I had been happy as we were
You were always by my side
But now that you're not here
Our future will never come
Suddenly I realize I've always felt the cold
Being near you just made me numb
I've always feared the dark
Being near you just made me brave
I've never needed the suns warmth
Since you've always lended me yours
I never planned a future without you here
Now I have none since you're not near
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 2 4
Let the Sunshine In
I used to hate the mornings
They were always the hardest
The sun peeking through the blinds
Seeking passage into my dark and cluttered room
It hits my face with blinding force
Pushing its warm rays past my eyes
Where I feel it in my heart
I normally feel annoyed right now
I should be mad that it's broken me from my slumber
Awakened me to a new day where anything could happen
It's possible
But that's not what I feel today
The blinding warmth brings nothing but hope
It may not be happiness
Not yet at least
But slowly, as I allow the sunshine in
Bringing light to my soul and my heart
I feel like I can dream again
Maybe even feel again
Maybe today can be a new start
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 0 0
Ribcage Birdcage
Don't lock the gate
No reason to clip my wings
My heart is already trapped in a cage
I'm suffocating
I haven't left this place in days
What's the point?
I don't know where to go
The blinds are drawn loosely
A sliver of light shines cruely into my eyes
Down on the streets below
Life moves on
As the neighbors I will never know
Plow their way to unknown destinations
Like a beautiful parakeet
Plucked clean with frustration and depression
Shrouded in dark solitude
Forced to do parlor tricks for stale crackers
I've lost all motivation to move towards the light and warmth
To fly towards freedom when doors open for meals
What's the point?
It's not like I have anywhere to go
I feel nothing
I'm numb
As I blindly reach through the ribcage turned birdcage
Reaching for what's left of my heart
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 2 0
Hearts Built Apart Like Mine Are Made for Burdens
Breathe in
Breathe out
The rasps of your gasps are terrifying me
I don't want to feel your pain
But if feeling it means you don't have to
I'll bare the burden happily
It's not my place
A child should shirk the murk
Of the worlds most deadly atmospheres
I'm not grown yet
I'm still developing
I'm still finding my place
I shouldn't be leaden down by someone else's problems
But what choice do I have?
I was cursed with a heart built apart from evil
All I want to do is help you
Even if it kills me
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 3 0
Alarm Clock
Wake me up
No matter the pain it brings me
My body's not made for this coma
I want to feel again
I want to see
To breathe
This sleepy haze is my death bed
And I'm not ready to lay down in it
Wake me up
Just wake me up
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 0 0
Passions and Faith
How can our children possibly have real faith
If they're taught everything they believe?
How can they possibly have real passion
If they're handed down their values?
A child needs room to grow in so many different ways
Elbow room and intelligence
Leg room and emotions
You can not tell them how to live
Or everything they must believe
If a child is taught their most precious beliefs
Then how can their beliefs be real?
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 0 2
Laughter in My Heart
I wait in line like a good girl should
My white knuckles are in a death grip
My friend just stepped off with a laugh in her throat
Mirth in her eyes
How can she be so free?
How can she touch the sky
And ignore the ground?
It's my turn now
I can't do it
No mirth in my eyes
Only tears
They try to calm me with questions
My name falls from my lips like a gasp
They tell me to let go
Sit back and pick up my feet
Just let go
They cheer me on
Like they're talking to a child
They say I can do it
They can't process what they are asking me to do
They're telling me to let go of everything I've grown to know
To trust that the unknown will protect me
To have faith in strangers to keep me from falling
To relinquish my fears of dying
I don't think I can do it
I jumped off the edge today
It was such a long way down
I went down the wire with tears in my eyes
Pain in my mind
But laughter in my heart
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 0 4
I Will Be Accepted by trevor4056 I Will Be Accepted :icontrevor4056:trevor4056 0 0
Change Will Be the Death of Me
Take me back to the days before I made the change
Make the present disappear and bring back history
I loath the life I've made myself
I took for granted of what was given me
Now I'm here
One year in
No progress at all
100 pounds heavier
5000 dollars poorer
1.2 average dumber
Nothing to show for the hard work I've made before
All that hard word I made before the change
I can't take the change
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 1 0
Allison Harvard
Her eyes
Like a sparkle of life hidden in shallow graves
I peer into the depths and see the doors to the afterlife
Hidden deep within the dark planes
Ready to open for those that gain her trust
Though whether they go to heaven or hell
I have no clue
But they call to me
Lure me in like a sirens call
Every time her eyes pull me in
I feel I am ready to jump
Uncaring of where I might be taken
Ready to go through regardless
Sacrifice everything
In the name of her eyes
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 1 4
Dark Shroud of Entitlement
I see a little angel
A little girl no more than 6 or 7
Running around in the gardens of heaven
Her best friend, a little boy
He's about the same age as her
He's chasing after her, playing tag
Suddenly she trips on the edges of her long white gown and she falls through a crack in the clouds
She falls through the fresh blue sky until she pierces the gray haze that surrounds the earth
A thick, heavy layer of smokey dolor
Birthed from the misery, greed and wrath of the common man
A common man built on the notion that the world owes him one
That the earth was created not for the universe
But for man himself
It was not always like this
There was a time when no man dared to take the earth for granted
Every creature, plant and seedling was praised for its contributions
Every tree was thanked for its strength and structure
As it was brought down to provide man shelter and warmth
Every creature was blessed for it nourishment and hide
As it was taken down to provide man food and clothing
And that
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 1 0
Salem Witch Trails
I try to give everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt
Every persecuted person I meet
The damned souls drifting through the hell hole of high school
The judges and the judged
The loud little weirdo sitting in the middle
Or the creepy little loner in the back
The obnoxious Ms. Know-It-All up front
I try to ignore the cruel words
Whether they're believed by one
By many
By all
I try to build my own opinion
Spend a day as their companion
So I can confirm the rumors
And make another enemy
Or discredit the rumors
And make a new friend
For if I never break through the rumors and stereotypes
If I never give a person a chance
How can I ever expect them to give me one?
Because let's face it
In Science
I am the loud little weirdo sitting in the middle
Yelling out bad puns and "That's what she said"s
In English
I am the creepy little loner in the back
Reading Edgar Allen Poe and writing poems about misery
And in Math
I'm the obnoxious Ms. Know-It-All up front
Raising my hand for every answer and c
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 5 9
Don't Let Me Be Alone
Don't let me sleep alone tonight
To fear the shadows on the wall
And the creaking down the hall
The spirits, demons, and terrors all
Drown my heart in fright
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 1 0
Grandma collaboration poems
You weren't happy, were you?
When you were alone
We'd all gone home
And you were lonely
You weren't happy
Never again
Grandpa George is there
To keep you company
You don't have to be sad anymore
Neither do we
Grandmas are born to be great cooks
You were just born nurture and care
A kindly nurse with gentle hands
And a passion to make things work
Like when there was an empty fridge
With little to really work with
You stuck crushed chips on buttered bread
And fed your hungry child
She'll never forget that
You always believed in all of us
Every grandchild was a gift to the world
Our dreams would come to pass
And cure the world of a nightmare
I still remember what you said to me
The last thing you would ever say to me
"You're special
Just follow you're path and you'll make it"
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 1 2
Grandma Marge
It just isn't fair
I was doing so well
For hours my eyes were dry
Tears unshed
When you told me the news
That she was gone
I catered to your sadness instead of mine
I thought I was brave
As I went through the day
I laughed and brushed it off
I accepted it years ago
Expected it to come to pass
But now I just want to hug you
Hear that praise in your voice
Just one last time
But exhaustion made you weak
Last week you couldn't even speak
Now it's over
You're someplace better now
And I'm happy for you
But now it's night
I'm all alone
I can't help it anymore
I can't be happy anymore
Tonight, just tonight
I'll cry
:icontrevor4056:trevor4056 0 0
MAMA Where Are You? by trevor4056 MAMA Where Are You? :icontrevor4056:trevor4056 2 4


Little Princess by humon Little Princess :iconhumon:humon 7,308 603 Golden Girl by Phatpuppyart-Studios Golden Girl :iconphatpuppyart-studios:Phatpuppyart-Studios 113 7 Protected by Phatpuppyart-Studios Protected :iconphatpuppyart-studios:Phatpuppyart-Studios 152 17
Writing Tournament 2014 ~ Round I
Come one and come all, raise your pen take part in this grand literary battle! There are subscriptions, points, art, features, and more to be won! You all have until February 12th to enter.
The time is nigh for the Fourth Annual Writers--club Literature Tournament!
This is a tournament for all writers welcoming prose and poetry! :la: It will be a grand competition spanning three rounds of literary challenge! :typerhappy: First of all, you must be willing to write for each of the rounds over the coming months.
There will be judging at the end of each round and those who progress to the next round will have to write a new piece for the next round's theme. A new participants list with the surviving writers will be released upon the announcement of the new round.
To sign up, join the group as a member and add this blog entry to your favorites. From there, feel free to submit your entry to the Tournament Round 1 Folder.
:spotlight-left: :bulletred::bulletre
:iconwriters--club:Writers--club 284 339
Drop dead demons by ElenaDudina Drop dead demons :iconelenadudina:ElenaDudina 2,434 392 Red Rose by Hill-dan Red Rose :iconhill-dan:Hill-dan 3 3 Never Forget Never Forgive by humon Never Forget Never Forgive :iconhumon:humon 7,154 851 Pale moon by PixieCold Pale moon :iconpixiecold:PixieCold 2,687 138 Wings of Love Necklaces by celesse Wings of Love Necklaces :iconcelesse:celesse 2,714 223 MtG: Gift of Orzhova by algenpfleger MtG: Gift of Orzhova :iconalgenpfleger:algenpfleger 31,739 1,326 Hungry Eyes by AngelikaZbojenska Hungry Eyes :iconangelikazbojenska:AngelikaZbojenska 14,058 854 Tooth Fairies by Saccstry Tooth Fairies :iconsaccstry:Saccstry 2,711 317 Mama Contest-Something in the Attic by Dracophile Mama Contest-Something in the Attic :icondracophile:Dracophile 13 1 My Greatest Fear by whitneyw My Greatest Fear :iconwhitneyw:whitneyw 219 68 MAMA Scared Stiff Contest: Black Hole Monster by Penanggalan MAMA Scared Stiff Contest: Black Hole Monster :iconpenanggalan:Penanggalan 422 38 my childhood fear by kotorikurama my childhood fear :iconkotorikurama:kotorikurama 206 50




United States
Aren't I cute? :D

My name is a single letter spelled with three letters. It's up to you to figure it out.

I'm the kind of person who would say bless you through the door and down the stairs fifty million times if you have to sneeze that much.

Personal Quote: "The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to&


trevor4056 has started a donation pool!
74 / 3,836
So this was originally up so I could get the fella plushie and llama plushie but since that a no longer possible I guess I can go for a premium membership. But if I get a membership for my birthday again I will start collecting points to donate to people who need/want it. Thanks to whoever donate.

You must be logged in to donate.
I know it's been a while since I've been on here and any kind of following I had built up is probably long gone but I'm getting desperate. My best friend in the whole wide world lost her oldest brother to addiction just a month or two ago and living an hour away has prove to be horrible when trying to comfort her. Luckily she met a troubled young man with a wonderful soul and heart who quickly became her friend and did everything he could to take her mind off the pain when I couldn't be there to do so. Due to his past he has had many difficulties landing and keeping a job. Just last week he ended up in a car accident where luckily he was uninjured. Sadly his car was totaled and since the accident was technically his fault he will not be able to buy a new car. My friend is very upset and wants to do everything she can to get him going again. Since he needs a car to get a new job to get money to get a new car to get a new job (that can go on forever), he's a little stuck. We started a gofundme page to raise money to get him a new car as a surprise but so far we've only gotten a couple dozen views and no donations. So in desperation I turn to my last platform of communication. Please, if you can't donate anything, I beg that you at least spread the word about Steves Support. In a world where everyone has given up on troubled soul we are the last leg that he can stand on.

Here's the link to the gofundme page:

I apologize for getting cheesy. This website brings that out in me. :giggle: thank you for listening.
  • Listening to: Same Old Love
  • Playing: Sims Freeplay
  • Drinking: Monster

Journal History


Add a Comment:
drowsydoe Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my goodness this is so late!!! Thank you so so much for  giving me a llama I really appreciate it! ^u^ have a wonderful day!!
trevor4056 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2014
No problem! :D
SunflowerGirlGraphic Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Student General Artist
Thanks for the llama! Llama jump
KawaiBakamono Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday!
Best wishes, little girl from picture must be pretty grown up girl now :D
trevor4056 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
Aw thank you. :D
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